I still vividly remember those last few months. In and out of the hospital. Home with hospice. The cries, the laughs, the memories that were shared, longing to hold on to them, because there would be one less person to reminisce the stories of my childhood. Wanting my future bride to hear the stories straight from the source. To have that relationship with my mom, so she could know what I was feeling when the sadness hit. So she could comfort me when I couldn’t find solace anywhere else.

This is going to be more about who my wife is than who my mother was. Because, for me, she is what filled the gap.

Long in advance of today, she was making plans. Preparing for me. Clearing her schedule of anything that would keep her from me. She usually goes into work about an hour before I do, but not today. She took the day off, just so I wouldn’t have to be by myself this morning. She wanted to make sure I didn’t have to be by myself, if I didn’t want to. She’s coming to go out to lunch with me. She’s making sure she’s home when I get off work. She’s making today a day to be with me and celebrate my mother’s life. However I want to do that.

We’re going to the gravesite today. I haven’t been there in a while. The grave marker was the hardest design that I have ever done. But it turned out beautifully. I did it in irises, which were her favorite flower, and her favorite verse from the Bible. We had it cut into a dark green granite, and they did a great job with it.

Heather has been there every step along the way. Her grandfather has been in and out of the hospital lately, and she has been really sensitive as to how I feel going to the hospital with her, and seeing her grandfather there. At times, it has been a bit much to handle. The first time back there, it was overwhelming, and I couldn’t go back for a little while.

She was there for me while Mom was declining, and when she passed away, Heather never left my side. Looking back, we’re thankful we kept the wedding date in May, rather than moving up so Mom could be there. Mom didn’t want her death to be forever associated with our anniversary. She was such a wise woman.

And I try to recall the bits of wisdom she passed along to me. I am the man I am today because of her. And because of Heather, standing by me and supporting me. I have had the best women in the world as a part of my life.

And I thank God for them.

I have a lot going on right now, and sometimes I just don’t know how to sit back and rest. Between working my full-time job, taking on a couple of clients for freelance work, putting together info and presentations for coworking, finding a space for the coworking, moving to a new home, and trying to be a halfway decent husband, I don’t know where to find time to be still. And yet I know that’s important.

Growth is my theme word for 2009. Growth. Sometimes I fool myself into believing that stretching too far is growth. Stretching is one part of growing, but it is not growing in and of itself. Stretching is a step in the growth process.

But so
is
rest.

When I was a kid, I would hit these growth spurts, and sometimes gain inches at a time. My joints would hurt, my muscles would cramp. I worked through a lot of pain and discomfort during those times. Sometimes my bones would grow faster than my muscles and ligaments, and I would injure myself. Then I’d have to endure physical therapy.

Physical therapy taught me how to properly stretch, so I could not only feel better, but so I could strengthen the muscles that needed to be strong to avoid injury, like my knees and back. (Yeah, places I never even thought about working out. You don’t get the looks from the ladies by flexing your back muscles.)

One thing that I didn’t know I needed at the time, but my body knew, was rest. I would sleep for hours on end during the day. I’d take naps like I was headed for retirement. I could go to sleep anywhere and everywhere. My brain knew that rest was vital for growth.

That’s what I’m learning now.

One of the keys to growing in any area is to know when and how to get the proper rest. You can’t just keep running until you exhaust yourself. I need rest. I need holiday. My life needs a break, so I can continue to grow properly, and at a healthy pace. I can’t just stretch. I have to limit the stretching, and increase the resting.

Now I’m headed to bed, and maybe I can sleep. That would be nice.

I’ve learned of a trend (via Twitter) of theme words for the year.  So I’ve been thinking a lot about what my theme word for 2009 would be.  And I’ve come up with “growth”.  I think it summarzies my goals quite well.

I want to expand my knowledge, learn new skills, and enjoy my experiences.  I’m always learning and growing, and looking for the next big thing.  Not in a bad way, but in a way that says “I want to live life as much as possible, and learn from my experiences things that will last.”  So Growth is my theme of the year.

The only other goal that I have is to start posting here once a week, sharing how I have lived out my theme of the year.  To share is another way to grow.

So happy 2009, everyone, and until next time, enjoy living!

Happy biking!

Life has been pretty good as of late, but very busy.  Heather and I are involved with a project this winter called ClotheCharlotte, which is colleecting coats, hats, and gloves to help keep the homeless in Charlotte warm.  It is a great movement, and we have a goal of 5000 kits, because there are at least 5000 homeless in Charlotte, with nearly 2000 of them being children.  Learn more about what we’re doing at the website, and donate whatever you can!

Along with that, we’ve got a couple other pretty big things underway. We’ve got Catalyst704, under which we are trying to open a casual office space in Charlotte.  It’s in a new business model known as “coworking” where people rent desk space to work from, rather than executive office space or working from home or a coffee shop.  It’s something that’s taking off around the US and the world, but we are the first to undertake it in Charlotte.  It is sooo not like us to be that cutting edge, so we’re still building the network, and we’ve met a good number of really great people along the way.

Along the way, I am finding time here and there to develop some themes for WordPress, a great blogging Content Management System (which is used for this site).  I have 2 themes built entirely from scratch, and will have them available for download soon.  The first was developed for ClotheCharlotte ( I am making a more generic one for public use), and the second is the one currently used on Seeingblind.com (Moda).  I am reconstructing my portfolio site, where these and other works will be displayed and able to be downloaded.

Well, that’s a bit of an update for now.  I wish I could promise more regular writing submissions, but I’m not going to promise what I can’t keep.  Perhaps if I update more frequently, the entries won’t have to be so long and boring.